Tomorrow, I leave for (hopefully) sunny Florida...

Sunday, May 3, 2009 0 comments

So, tomorrow begins my trip to Clearwater, Florida. What was supposed to be a birthday trip from my parents, has now turned into a trip to spend time with my grandfather in rehab. I'm trying to go with an open mind, but I'm scared. What if this is the last time I see him? I'm almost positive he won't be up for wedding. Hospitals and the like just scare me in general. I don't associate them with happiness (except, of course, for the time we went to visit Luke & Janelle in the hospital after Summer was born).

My grandfather seems to be doing better. Not 100%, of course, but better. He will be in a rehab center (at least, that is the plan) while we are there.

I'm also not going with the best attitude. I am frustrated that I may not be able to get to swim and go out and do whatever I want. Now, it's going to center around visits to a rehab center half an hour away from their house. This was supposed to be a nice, relaxing vacation spent with my grandparents before all the stress of planning a wedding comes to a head and I become extremely busy. It'll probably be the last vacation I ever take "alone." Does that sound really selfish of me? Obviously, I don't take to change well - unless they're good changes. These changes are definitely not good.

I mean, yes, I am glad to be going away for a bit. I'm glad I'll get to see Jessie graduate and spend some time with Marianna. I just wish all the circumstances were happier. I am glad to be going, but I don't know what to expect. And, I'm not excited the way I was before. Now, I just don't know. I do want to see my grandfather and I am so glad that I get to go to see him. I wouldn't want to miss that for anything.

I'm sure I am being confusing. Maybe this rainy day has just got me feeling down...


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