Shawn's Turn

Tuesday, March 24, 2009 3 comments

I know you all have been waiting anxiously to find out what Shawn's love languages are - ha! Well, even though you haven't - I'm still going to tell you what they are. Aren't you the lucky ones?

It didn't take very much convincing on my part to take the test, but when he was taking it - he kept asking me what I thought he was. Ha!

His primary love language is Physical Touch. I know, I know - no comments "like that" please. I had a feeling this would be one of his, because he's much more feel-y than I am. By that, I mean - if we sit down he likes to sit thisclose and if we're in the car he always grabs my hand. If I'm in another room (i.e. cooking) he always comes up behind me and gives me a hug. When we argue or I'm upset, he tries to give me a hug or a kiss. I have to admit, that (along with sneaking up on me) annoys me to no end - I am the complete opposite.

Gary Chapman has this to say about Physical Touch:

Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship...

All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.
It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.

It's funny because, when I took the test - this was the one at the very bottom of my list with only 2 points. I knew it would be. I'm just not touchy-feely. I know this annoys some of my friends, and Shawn, but it's just not something I can "relate" to as well. Of course, it's not like I hate it. Come on - who really does? I don't need to constantly be touched to know I am loved. I think this might be hard for me. I know he doesn't like it when I pull away or move myself a little further away -I am trying, though.

Like me, his secondary love language was Acts of Service. That's a lot easier for me, obviously. I was suprised, though - I really thought his other one would be Words of Affirmation. Who knew?
I do know that this isn't going to solve any marital problems we might have, but I did find it very interesting and I believe there's a lot of truth to it. I can now agree with others I know who have read it and say it's very helpful and informative. The Five Love Languages now has the "Andi" stamp of approval - I'm sure Mr. Chapman was worried about that...


  • Denise Trautman said...

    I just got caught up on all your blog posts. I have enjoyed getting to know you better through them. I think we are a lot alike in that we can express ourselves better in writing than face to face. People tell me they think I am "stuck up" when they first meet me and just writing that I am tearing up because that makes me so sad. I think I am very friendly but apparently that doesn't come across face to face. Going to make a commitment to be praying for you every day. I know the wedding planning is getting stressful and, though it probably doesn't help to keep hearing it but here it is: The wedding day seems so important to you now but when you look back you will probably wish you had not stressed out about all the details. Ask any married lady and she will probably tell you the same. It will be a wonderful day, no matter what flowers you choose or what colors or even what everyone eats. You are marrying the most wonderful guy in the world and that is all that counts.

  • Davesgirl said...

    I don't know, Andi, I think it can help solve marital problems. I am sooooo not touchy feely either, but we really need to get over it and make our men feel loved! You should start a sidebar label of "Book Reviews" or "Responses to Books" so you can keep track of all your posts regarding books. It really does help to go back and label all your posts before you get so many that the task will overwhelming!

  • Short Stop said...

    One of the best things about marriage is that you get to grow togther, learn together, and all in a loving, caring relationship where you're safe to be who you are. It's great that you recognize the things that make you *you*, and that you want to love and serve Shawn - allowing him to be *him*.

    Acts of Service - I have a feeling he's gonna feel really, really loved being married to you! :)

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