"I'm Just Trying to Matter." ~ June Cash

Well, we've been back from our trip for a week now and everything is back to normal (whatever that really means). Why can't I seem to get everything "back to normal" right away? What is it going to be like when we eventually have kids?

The trip was great (I'll put up pictures in a separate post)! We really, really had a good time. The weather was warm and sunny every day - simply beautiful. Disney World and Universal Studios were great and tons of fun. I desperately want to go back.

But, that's not why it was great...

Remember how apprehensive I was about going in the first place? I'd heard a lot of stories and stuff about the class that wasn't so good and I only really knew a few of the seniors. That all changed on the loooooong ride down to Florida. Shawn and I got to talk to some of the seniors. They started off quiet, but thankfully it didn't stay that way the whole time and they started to open up a little. And, it was fun - I enjoyed talking to them about what they did and didn't like, etc. After that I knew it would be ok.

Some days were a little challenging, but by the middle of the week we (especially Shawn) were able to talk to them more and spend some more time with them. Without being overbearing or pushy. They're really searching. Yes, some know and have a relationship with God and some don't really care. But some really do want to know God and are looking for more - they might just not know where to find Him or how to get "there." They really were a good group of kids. They don't always get along with each other and there were some small problems, but it was fun! I hope they had a good time and enjoyed themselves...

Unfortunately, unlike Shawn, I didn't get anywhere with anyone. Girls are just harder to get to know and to have an actual conversation with - you need to know them more than a week. I'd like to keep in touch with some of them, but I know that once they leave Open Bible - we'll probably never hear from them again. I was really discouraged by this thoughout the week, but in the last 2 or 3 days, I talked to some of the girls more (though, still no personal conversation) and I realized what I wanted to do.

Actually, both Shawn and I did. We'd like to work with that age group and be involved somehow. We volunteered to go along on this trip every year (no, not just for Disney World and a free trip), but it doesn't look like that will happen next year (but possibly in the near future - we'll see). I just wish there was something we could do now, but I'm not exactly sure what that is. This leads to a lot more frustration on my part. I want to do something. I could do something - I just don't see how it will happen.

I know, this may seem a little disjointed - it's hard to put into words. I just so strongly feel the need and the want to do something, but I'm not sure it's possible where I am right now. What is there for me to do? Where is there for me to go? And, where do I fit in? Between Bible study and teaching Sunday School, what's left for me? I want to make a difference...