Frustration

Today was one of those days that just started off badly and got progressively worse...

I realized how uncomfortable and out of my "comfort zone" this weekend is going to be and it really scares me. I have to go in front of the church to become a member (honestly, I don't want to stand in front of everyone for my wedding). Then, I have to make dinner for small groups - something I've never made before. The thought of everyone hating it really scares me. After that, we have to give our testimonies to the group. I may be good at writing, but speaking in front of people terrifies me - especially when it's a group of people I know and want acceptance from. I haven't even started writing it (probably mistake #1) and won't have *much* time until Saturday evening. Shawn's not even going to be there, because he's working - I won't be seeing him til next Friday. Super...

I was half an hour late for work, because I was told the wrong time to be there. Luckily, no one was upset as it really wasn't my fault - just a miscommunication. Then, I see this lovely little note written above the schedule for next week: "All employees will now have help with floorset. We will be starting at 6:30 am on Sunday mornings." I have explained to my manager a handful of times that I teach Sunday School and I have to be there, then I have church at 11. Apparently, this matters very little as I was told that I would be "taken off the schedule" and/or fired if I could not help out in this way. "It's only once a month. You'll just have to find other arrangements to teach your class. It isn't fair to everyone else that you get off on Sundays." Really?!? I was just pretty hurt by this, because I'm not just saying I can't do it because I want to sleep or need a day off. It's a commitment I made to my church. Yes, I'll be the first to admit, I do complain about it sometimes and I do wish I could go to my own Sunday School class once in awhile. But, I do enjoy teaching and it is a commitment I made before I even started working at The Limited. In addition to that, not working on Sundays is a decision I personally have made and stand behind 100%. What to do now? I really enjoy working there, I like the people, and I really need this job...

Then, I go to the gym - knowing this usually causes me to burn off pent-up frustration and (sort of) relax. This was not to be (shocked, right). I get out, lock the doors, and pop the trunk. After getting my gym bag out of the trunk, I proceed to lock my purse in the trunk WITH THE KEYS STILL INSIDE. Of course, due to all the other events of the day, I am infuriated. Shawn was on the phone with me at this point telling me to calm down. Now, I may be the only person in the world who gets upset when someone says "calm down" - but this did NOT help and only caused me to get more upset and promptly hang up on him. *Oops!* At least Matt was home to so kindly bring me the spare set (thank God for spare sets of keys!).

In addition, I am still trying to overcome my insecurities of everyday life (another blog for another tie) as well as all of my uncertainties.

Oh yes, today was definitely a day that I would like to forget. I would actually like to bypass this whole weekend full of babysitting and doing uncomfortable things and sail into next week "without a care in the world." What are the chances of that happening?