I'll just start off with one of the first things that struck me. And, maybe all of you married women can help me out with this one.
"Men need to feel like heroes to their wives. They not only want their wives to meet their sexual needs, but they also want them to meet their emotional needs for love, respect, appreciation, and admiration. When those needs don't get met, a husband's heart will grow cold toward his wife... As much as we long to have our husbands understand and meet our innermost needs, we have to learn to give that which we desire to receive."
Ok, so here's my "thing." I get how to love, respect, appreciate, and admire. I know how to do all of those things. Do I do them all the time? I'm 100% sure the answer is a resounding "no." I know there are times he doesn't feel like I give him all of that - and we're not even married yet. I'm working on it, and I honestly think I've made a lot of progress. Though, I guess you would have to ask him to be sure.
What I don't get is the "hero" part... I know what it means, etc. That doesn't need to be explained. I'm just not sure how to do it. How do you make your husbands feel like they are your heroes? Obviously, I know all men are different...
3 comments:
Don't you think it is mainly those things (love, appreciate, respect)? I know you can go a lot farther that that though- the looks we give them, the way we speak of them to others, and the way we let them know that we NEED them. It is easy to let the way we feel go unsaid (I have a real problem with that), but I know that he loves it when I let him KNOW with words and actions that he is the ONLY one who can meet my needs. And when he takes time to do stuff for me (like putting music on my mp3 player, or when he does the dinner dishes after a long day at work, etc.) I don't take it for granted, but try to do more than just say "thanks"!
I'm no expert though - unfortunately :(
And I do think you have come a loooooong way, and I love it! God is so good to help us grow!
Andi~ the main thing is respect...which is done in "looks", tone of voice and gratefulness not just for things done but who he is. God made our husbands to 'need' respect. He made us to 'need' love. I have been married a long time and still working on it....darlin', it is a lifelong goal. As a new bride I was shocked to realize a "bad" look was like a stab in his heart. One really really loving thing to do is compliment (or esteem...say good things)about Shawn to someone within Shawn's hearing. That is respecting him in good ways. I have failed many times to take the opportunities God gave, which makes me sad...but God helps and never gives up on me!!!!
Andi~ Just wanted to add (above was me) I heard Elizabeth Elliot speak to wives one time and she said "learning to respect our husbands the way they need it is a lifelong lesson"....I've never forgotten those words. It is a godly goal to set for ourselves! Love you...Sherry
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