Goodbye

"A righteous man who walks in integrity - How blessed are his sons after him." ~ Proverbs 20:7

This verse applies very to my grandfather. Pop-pop taught my father and uncle about God and I am sure that's why they are who they are today.

In case you haven't heard, my grandfather died this morning. We weren't expecting it this time. As you saw in my previous posts - it truly seemed like he was getting better. And, I've heard that yesterday he really had a "great" day. But, at 5:30 this morning - my dad got a phone call (on his birthday, no less) that my grandfather had passed away, presumaby in his sleep. It seems that he didn't even die from what had been making him so ill.

This is hard for me because, when we were in Florida - he was hoping that he could possibly make it up for the wedding. Even though he was sick, Pop-pop took the time to think of me and ask me about my life and my plans. Sure, it was hard seeing him so sick and so weak but I didn't even want to think of the possibility that that might be the last time I would see him and speak to him. Now, I can't even remember if I told him I loved him the last time I saw him. I keep going back to that and it breaks my heart even more.

I am also afraid that my grandmother might not speak to us or have as much contact with us anymore. You see, she isn't my dad's mom (she died when my dad was young - I never met her). Nana had been married to Pop-pop for about 25ish years, I believe. I feel like now we may not matter as much to her and that fear hurts, too.

This definitely is another sad day in my family (my grandmother died in January). I will miss my grandfather. He was a great, God-fearing man. Stubborn, yes. But, he was kind and comforting. I feel like there's a lot I will never know about him. He lived in Florida for as long as I can remember. Yes, we talked on the phone weekly but in the past few years, I've had the joy of going there for a week once a year and spending some alone time with him and Nana.

I feel guilty that I didn't really have the right attitude when I first went down. I was only thinking of myself and if I would get "my time." I did, but I also spent a few hours with him every day. I'm glad that, by the time I got down to Florida, my attitude had changed some. I am glad I got the chance to go.

I do know he is in a better place - right where he should be. That gives me hope and comfort.

"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also." ~ John 14:1-3

Goodbye, Pop-pop. I will truly miss you. I love you. I am sure I owe part of who I am today to you.